I'm Not Crazy, I'm Stressed

Wow, it's been a long time since I've written. Life . . . it gets busy. Sweet baby Hazel is already five and a half months old! She's chunky and smiley and such an easygoing little baby. She's absolutely a light in our family--she brings joy and balance to the rest of us. Yesterday I saw Jacob kiss her head and say, "Aw . . . why you so cutie, Hazel?" It's a really good question. She's incredibly cutie and I kiss her a million times a day because it's the only way to handle so much cuteness. Also, given the last post, I should mention that she does not in fact have CF (she's a carrier). This is old news, but I wanted to mention it for the record.

And now for something that is totally not cutie as Hazel. Did you ever take one of those stress assessment tests in health class when you were growing up? I remember checking boxes to indicate how many major life events I had experienced in the past year, both good and bad, and then adding up points for each stressor to find some magical level of latent stress that I was experiencing. Recently I thought of these stress tests when I was feeling--wait for it--stressed out. And it made me actually feel a lot better about myself.

You see, I have a really good life. I am blessed in ten million ways. Probably more than ten million ways. And yet the truth is that while there aren't any heartbreaking trials going on in my life, we have legitimately experienced lots and lots of major stressors over the past few years. And just from a pure logical standpoint, it makes sense that all of these things would sort of compound to make me live in an underlying state of stress, despite also being very happy with my life!

For example, in the past seven months alone I have:

• Moved
• Packed and unpacked a house while 8 to 9 months pregnant and unable to lift anything heavy
• Had a baby
• Experienced complications with my baby's delivery that could have legitimately led to my untimely demise
• Recovered from said complications
• Mothered four small children, including a newborn
• Found out the house we're living in was being sold
• Cleaned and cleaned and cleaned some more for showings of the house
• Had my husband given a high-intensity calling in church (counselor in the bishopric)
• Worked lots of hours for my part-time editing job
• Been given a pretty tight deadline for finding new housing
• Been faced with packing up my entire house within the next week and a half

So . . . it's legit, guys. I'm not crazy for feeling stressed and maybe not being my best, most cheerful, and most fun self! There really have been some objectively major things going on, and that's just a sampling. And I totally wouldn't have survived these past months without a million lovely people around me who were willing to help out as needed. It is simply amazing to watch people jump into action, and I am so grateful to be the recipient of so much kindness.

And truly, I'm not saying this to complain. Seriously! I have a great life. But I'm also hoping that after this next move (to a place in the same town, about a mile away), I'll be able to put up my feet and relax for a few minutes. (Please don't tell me that's not how life works.) For now, I'll just go ahead and squeeze my cute little people a few (million) more times between packing boxes.